Posted: October 25, 2014 in Uncategorized

People, they are the most confusing, emotional, nasty, kind, ugly and the most beautiful creature on earth!

Why? Because evolution made us that way and why did it make us that way? Because without evil we wouldn’t know good, without kindness we wouldn’t know nastiness, without ugliness we wouldn’t know beauty……. And without hate, we wouldn’t know love and if everyone is honest, what is the most important thing in the world? In my opinion….. Love!

Without love how would we know who our families are? Our friends? How should we know who we want to spend our time with? Our lives with?

Anyone who who knows me knows I find people…… Difficult? If that’s the right word? I find it hard to let people in and I find it damn near impossible to let them go once I have! They are confusing, they are untrustworthy, they lie, they cheat, you never quite know what they are actually thinking, you never know if what they are saying actually means what they want you to think it does.

Then there are the people you meet that you never doubt, that you would trust with your lives, I know and have met a lot of people, hundreds, thousands maybe and out of all those people the amount of people I trust whole heartedly I could count on my hand. I always put down my mistrust and wariness to my “issues” but I’m starting to realise that the reason that I trust and love these people is nothing to with me or my disconnected, wrongly wired brain, it’s them. They are just good people! The Jenny’s and the Darren’s and the kevs and sams and  banksy’s and Raines and Brian’s and Mrs b’s and Daves of the world are pure, some of which taken before their time but they’re pure, they love, they show love, they’re honest and beautiful and each and everyone One of them hurt and struggle and you can sometimes see in their eyes and hear it in their voice and you might not speak for months or years even but you know that if you picked up the phone tomorrow asking for thier help they would be there in a shot as I would them!

if I hadn’t met the grown ups who hurt me and neglected me and didn’t love me and show me kindess as a child, would I know how special they are? How precious they are? If I hadnt met the guys who beat me and controlled me, would I know how if these people respected me? If I hadn’t met the people who bullied me and bitched behind my back and let me down time and time again, would I know how reliable these people are, would I trust them? I think the answer without a doubt is no.

I sit here night after night on my own, sometimes desperate and alone, sometimes wanting to hurt myself or even to an extreme…. Die. And do you know why I make it to the next day? Why I have always made it to the next day? Because the world may be full of bad and chaos and evil but it’s also full of experiences and love and respect, the world has people who save you without even knowing it!

My point is that no matter how bleak and how terrible the world looks sometimes, if you try hard enough you can see the beauty and feel the love. So when you’re feeling alone and desperate and thinking about all the people that showed you hate and caused you hurt, always think about those that showed you love and gave you may feel like you have never experienced happiness but I’m pretty sure if you dig deep enough you will find a time even if it’s only brief and that is what you have to hold on to!

People say that pain always out weighs the happiness but it doesn’t if you don’t let it!

People are confusing, nasty, ugly and unpredictably emotional but they are also kind and loving and beautiful……. And without the bad we would never see the good!

Love and peace

zo~zo xxx


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